Heavy Autistic Coding Day
Date: 7/25/23Mood: YIPPEEListening To: Cafe de Touhou 1-8Just woke up~ but very awake already~ because im exited~!
I kept thinking about my website last night and made a massive to do list of site features; I've got enough projects to probably last me through a nuclear winter now lol. It is a bit daunting, but I want to build up this website a bit at a time so theres no rush.
Thankfully I have lots of free time today, only a few chores need to be done (vaccum cause i didnt yesterday, more dishes, shave body, wash my hair). Bf seems upset and just left for work but not sure what its about; I'll make sure to do everything early so atleast he won't have to worry about me.
[ 9:53am ]
Took a shower and did everything but vaccuming. The vaccum is a unique autistic hell chore that I can only be fully equipt to handle mid day once im not as high strung
. I've gotten better about dishes with practice; I worked a job as a dishwasher for about 20 minutes before melting down once... Now I do dishes 3-4x a day but just have to remember to take breaks and listen to when I need to stop and do something else. A bit better, but still not at neurotypical levels of performance 
I'm not really in the mood to code now tho... I wanna smoke but just emptied the last of the weed bag to load bowls and if I smoke then I have to hope that bf goes to buy more today otherwise I'm screwed
...I went from all the energy in the world to none at all.. blegh...
[ 10:41am ]
Oh bros 4.1.5 is gonna be great... Im still not rlly in the mood so I used my disilusionment to my advantage and moved everything.
I think I'm gonna spend a week or two on this update; so I'll upload the blogs as I go & change some stuff on the live version so I can continue to have these blog posts be live for all my millions of fans~!
[ 11:15am ]
Updated some of the blog terms and such. I'm hoping that by using japanese formatting for dates that I can get more familiar with kanji. I know enough spoken japanese for conversational purposes or to understand a good ammount of shows/movies with, but not very much kanji & it takes me forever to read hirigana. I don't practice at all (tho i should) so most of how I try and learn is by familiarity. Probably never gonna learn fully but I do like the language.
[ 12:40pm ]
Was looking forward to grilled cheese so much today. Was planning last night how bad I wanted it. And all the cheese squished out of the bread in the panini press. Its just white bread and a thin layer of walmart cheese. Severley dissapointed.
[ 2:53pm ]
Finished up a lot of site changes; but now the only things left to do are projects that require starting from scratch that I don't wanna do
Honestly I just wanna smoke and watch anime... okay ill just take a small tinsy tinsy hit to calm down and then watch some seasonals
~one tiny tiny hit later~
we all fall down by stomach book is such a good song sorry sorry sorry sorry
[ 3:55pm ]
Bf is back from work; i'm still a bit high and just wanna listen to music.
Next day Jane here to finish off the entry with some other things that happened~!
I showed bf my site, I needed to see what it looked like on a big monitor, and its still ok so im happy. He didnt read any of it or seem the least bit intrested though, and it hurts. He knows how much I put into every site revision and yet he hasnt looked at it once.
I think it's because I have my pronouns & say im nonbianary. He dosen't like that I'm queer and just wants to think of me as a cishet girl. I know I'm never going to change his mind, I've accsepted that I will never be taken seriously by anyone.
Also he forgot about my birthday thats in 2 weeks? And our mutral online friend remembered it and said something?? I'm dissapointed and sad about it. Especially since that means its probably too late to order something and have it get here. I put in a good bit of effort into making his day special, it sucks to know that the one person that I know won't do the same. And I'm pretty easy to shop for; he knows quite a few things that I've been wanting that are fairly budget but I cant help but feel like there won't be any thought put into it at all...
I love him a lot and he's a good person, just not very good with these kinds of things.
Anyways, I'll go back to my current blog post now.
I showed bf my site, I needed to see what it looked like on a big monitor, and its still ok so im happy. He didnt read any of it or seem the least bit intrested though, and it hurts. He knows how much I put into every site revision and yet he hasnt looked at it once
.I think it's because I have my pronouns & say im nonbianary. He dosen't like that I'm queer and just wants to think of me as a cishet girl. I know I'm never going to change his mind, I've accsepted that I will never be taken seriously by anyone.
Also he forgot about my birthday thats in 2 weeks? And our mutral online friend remembered it and said something?? I'm dissapointed and sad about it. Especially since that means its probably too late to order something and have it get here. I put in a good bit of effort into making his day special, it sucks to know that the one person that I know won't do the same. And I'm pretty easy to shop for; he knows quite a few things that I've been wanting that are fairly budget but I cant help but feel like there won't be any thought put into it at all...
I love him a lot and he's a good person, just not very good with these kinds of things.
Anyways, I'll go back to my current blog post now.