[12:45pm] Haven't wanted to do an update in so long... but dosen't want to be inactive for a long period so we can crank one out.
2 days until my trip to California, been packing the last few days, getting my media in order, ect. Did babysitting on Tuesday and Thursday this week too, and got almost all gifts ready. Just a matter of waiting until its time to go.
Didn't get the materials to finish my sister in law's gift in time, so it is bringing them with. The fabric is really high quality and the colors are perfect. The only problem is the assembly. It has a pattern that it needs to get printed on Monday; and then it can work on the project over vacation.
So much to do in so little time

[7:18pm] Had a really fun day today!
It finally really become friends with the server! It went to the last simul of Immortal Guild, played AMQ for the first time thanks to Xia, had a neat dm conversation with Inaba, arranged to make a 'book club' to read Narcissu, and got called cute. It feels nice to have friends again. It loves it.
It also baked some bread, got some music sorted, and scheduled another denpa album on its Youtube. Nice and fufilling day~!

[7:18pm] Long day today... tired and just been watching anime since we got home from babysitting. Had a pretty bad syncope from being anemic and had to lay on the floor for 30min so that's fun. Probably the highlight of the day was getting the "mean cat" Mewtwo to come up to me for cuddles and meow every time she sees it
Been making good progress on stopping skin picking and only caught it picking a few times and none resulting in injury! This might sound silly, but cute anime girls have been a source of energy for me. Since starting Prozac, it feels like it has been reborn into a person who can actually do the things it wants to. It hadn't had time or grounds to dream since it was young. And now that lovely life filled with friends that I watched to fill a void has a possibility of existing in this world. Anime girls fill me with so much hope and determination for a future I previously thought unnatanable.

[12:44pm] Haven't been doing paticularly great this last week... wich is odd because it usually has godly luck and really good things happen to it in the first week of December. Like most life-altering suprises have happened on this one week every year and this time it is trash rip.
My weed addiction is becoming a propper one for sure; and it is trying to break my skin picking addiction at the same time. It feels like ever since eating disorder recovery it's body has been making every other addiction worse. It almost makes it want to go back to the eating disorder because at least that wasn't as expensive as weed lol.
It isn't sure where the addiction stems from, but really can't afford it right now. It needs to stop but life feels unbearable while sober. Smoking has made me lie and made my functioning worse. But of course, it wants to wait "just a bit longer" before trying to break that addiction too.
But hey, the update is out now! Finally, the site is ready to release. Gonna wait until it gets a job to change the url simply because it can't afford anything rn. And got lazy with some of the upkeep tasks and didn't end up doing them but have like 6 more potential page ideas lol.

[12:11pm] It has been mostly smoking its days away the last week or so... it feels bad for letting itself go so much. It got in a bit of trouble for smoking before bf came home, and it needs to cut back. It was feeling okay this morning, so it wants to make up for past wrongs today~
It took a shower this morning and fixed a dumb error with Last.fm. And next- it plans to make bread and some cute sweets~
Bf seems like he has been more careful with his diet lately, but also it wants to do something nice and dosen't have any other ideas. It worries me a bit too as someone recovering from an eating dissorder, because it can see it's own old patterens in some of the things he does. And it isn't going to jump to conclusions; but it is hard to watch someone you love hurt themselves.
[1:25pm] Started the bread, now have some laundry going and cut my bangs finally :3

[1:43pm] Been almost exclusivly been working on the website today! Lots of really good progress and the new homepage took nearly 3 days and looks amazing
Yesterday night it smoked like 4 bowls and stayed up until 4:30am. Been smoking a lot more recently, chasing the dragon behavior. It feels bad for smoking tho because its boyfriend's weed, but with this week's babysitting money it's gonna get My First Real Bag Of Weed. Well, it has had it's own weed before but this is the first one it is actually paying for. It used to get free weed from parents and coworkers pretty regularly... those were the days.
It does fear that the constant dragon chasing is giving it a bit too much ego. Ever since starting Prozac it has felt okay about itself, but it feels like there is a fine line bewteen liking yourself and being stuck up. And it dosen't want to cross that line. But due to a lifetime of self-hatred that line is really blurry.

[9:04pm] More or less just doing one today as a test
Didn't post the last few days because babysitting. On Thursday it survived but had no energy after, took a long nap, and then couldn't go back to sleep. Needless to say, it wasn't prepared for another day. So much respect for parrents. Like the best part about babysitting is that you can go home and no longer have to deal with a kid. Even taking care of someone for a day and a half wears out all of it's energy and leaves me overstimulated and unable to think. And that's on a high dose of Prozac.
On the second day, it started to break down arround nap time. It's boyfriend was also there that day, and is really good at getting in the way, helping you by making it more dificult and confusing, and dosen't help any of the time you actually could use a hand. It loves him he wasn't doing it on purpose don't get it wrong. But that made everything much worse lol.
After babysitting, we got 2 hours at home before we had to go back to celebrate father-in-law's birthday. (Sidenote: We aren't married but it's tired of saying boyfriend's dad and his parents have already refered to it as an in-law.) And so I took a bath and a nap, but then the celebration (admitedly was fun and it enjoyed itself) took every remaining energy store it had left.
As for today, it did a simulwatch of Futoku no Guild with Comfy Camp, saved a bunch of new GIFs, and is almost done with the homepage for the next update!